Puree

Puree jokes

Death

Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.

  • 3
  • Evil

    I finally stopped drinking for good.

    Now I purely drink for evil.

    Memes

    Indian

    If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.

  • 6
  • Dog

    I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

    Dog

    I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

    Why?

    The ducks keep trying to eat him.

    Why would they do that?

    Because he’s pure-bread.

    Sex

    Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

    On a desk in pure isolation.

    Abortion

    My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

    It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

  • 2
  • Water Bottle

    Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

    Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

    In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

    Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

    Tissue

    Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.

    Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.

    In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.

    But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.

    Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.

    So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.

    Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.

    Bible

    It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.

    Jesus

    Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!

    Hahaha LOL Jajaj.

    And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"

    GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.

    If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!

    Memes

    Chicken

    Omg my 34 week old chicken literally climbed onto my scooter Saturday. Pure gold 👌😂

    A brown chicken stands on a black scooter with the text "CYCLOP" visible on it. Another chicken is visible in the background walking on a tiled floor.

    Community

    Extremely depressing poem I wrote last year when I tried to kill myself

    They were an inch wide and a centimeter deep But I don’t remember the length As I passed out in fear I remember staying pure Not being afraid of what I could do But I broke that years ago Last year, they used to be a millimeter wide and a nanometer deep An inch long I cried yet it wasn’t enough for me I remember being hot The wool sweater w… Read more

    I want AG to fuck me. I want him to tie me up so I can only walk on all fours and then for him to stick his cock in my face. I want him to rub it over my face for a solid 10 seconds before sticking it in my mouth. I want him to grab my head and force his cock down my throat repeatedly. Then, I want him to pull out of my mouth and flip me over so I'm facing the ceiling. Then I want him to rub his cock against mine, te… Read more

    my god the people in my advisory are so fucking unfunny and unoriginal like get a life omfg. they use the fuckin 2021 soundboards that are so unbelievably unfunny that make me wanna smash their computers with a hammer out of pure spite