Puree jokes

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.

Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.

Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.

In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.

But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.

Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.

So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.

Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

My puns are awesome, pure gold.

Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!

Hahaha LOL Jajaj.

And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"

GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.

If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!

English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”

French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”

Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

I finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I purely drink for evil.

Michael Jackson is pure cheese.

I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.

Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

On a desk in pure isolation.

Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.

I make baby mush.

My Smoothie Ingredients: - Bananas - Strawberry - The Blood of my ex - Peanut Butter

Applesauce.

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.