Bereavement jokes
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
What do you call an orphan’s picture?
A family photo.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.
Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...
Oh wait...
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
What do orphans get at restaurants?
The family meal.
What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?
Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
Your Nan is dead.