Bereavement Jokes

Blind

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Orphan

Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?

He is waiting for his dad with the milk.

Orphan

Why do orphans only have 363 days?

They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Man

A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.

This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"

"Of course," she says.

The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"

The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"

Orphan

What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Orphan

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Orphan

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.

Orphan

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

Orphan

Why do orphans only have 360 days?

Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.

Orphan

What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?

Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Plumber

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

Orphan

There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.

Orphan

Why are there only 363 days for orphans?

Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.

Mom

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.