Belief jokes

My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!

Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.

Chuck Norris once went to hell.

After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.

God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?

Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.

What do the initials BIBLE stand for?

"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."

How do you anger a Libertarian?

Don't tell him the truth.

How do you anger a democrat?

Don't tell him the truth.

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

What God do rats worship?

Cheesus.

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.