Belief jokes
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Why can't religion and science agree?
Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.
BUT!!!!!!
I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.
As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.
I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)
There is no god. None, not one.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.