There is no god. None, not one.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
Poop is yummy, fuck!
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
