Before jokes

Mama

Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.

Vampire

Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?

Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!

Dad

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Spell

What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!

Memes

Twin Towers

Who is older than the Twin Towers?

Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.

Disco

What does a disabled disco play?

"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."

Student

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Quitter

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

God

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Death

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

Hipster

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

Crotch

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.

Girl

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

Clown

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

Cereal

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.