Before jokes
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Memes
My dream tbh
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.