B.A.L.L.S. jokes
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’s a ball hog.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What hangs low?
Balls.
balls /\ /\
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
I went to the market to get eggs, and my sister thought that I meant my balls.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
Balls.
Can I put my baaaalls in yo jaaaaws?
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
Someone stole my balls :(
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
The boys joking be like:
One guy: "Balls!"
All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"
Balls in your jaws.