Bad

Bad jokes

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

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  • I aced my poker test...

    My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

    A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...

    Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

    A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

    I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

    I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

    My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

    I have a really good joke.

    Do you want to hear it?

    Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.

    Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.

    He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.

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  • What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!