Bad jokes
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
I have a really good joke.
Do you want to hear it?
Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
Stop putting up bad jokes, boi!
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."