Aviation jokes
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pizzas and they only got plain: one came late, and then went to the wrong location.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
What bee is terrible at flying? Kobe.
When a plane is having turbulence, it’s just the pilot shaking the steering.
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
These 9/11 jokes just don’t land.
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
"There's one terrible pilot." -- President George W. Bush on September 11, 2001.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.