Aviation jokes
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
What do you call an Arab and a black man flying a plane?
Pilots. You racist f*ck.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
Who lives under the sea?
Malaysia flight 370.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
Open wide, here comes the airplane!
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.
BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.