Aviation

Aviation jokes

Parachute

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

Lady

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

Pilot

Why do people always talk about nine eleven???

My dad died that day.

He was a good pilot.

Memes

Pilot

What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"

Twin Towers

Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?

A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.

Dad

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

Bomb

I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.

Bagel

What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.

Pilot

My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.

Plane

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.