Assassination Jokes

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.

What is white with red all over?...

JFK.

"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

- JFK

John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.

Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?

John Lennon: "What a nice view."

John walked outside.

He got shot.

:skull:

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife.

Nobody:

JFK: :) Hi guys!

JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.

One more 360 noscope for my montage.

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

What has two butts and kills people?

An assassin.

Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.

A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."

My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂

JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.

What's Christian and holey?

JFK.

"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."

~John F. Kennedy