Ares jokes
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
Y'all are whack at jokes, y'all suck!
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Why are Bengalis so fishy?
Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
Roses are gay, violets are also gay. If you read, you are gay.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?
Because he is a smelly cunt.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world?
9/11 victims: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds.
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"