Ares jokes
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.