Ares jokes

Tooth

  • (I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)

    What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

    I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

    Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

    Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

    Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

    My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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    Orphan

  • An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"

    "Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.

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    Laundry

  • Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!

    Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.

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    Dwarf

  • I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

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  • Old

  • Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

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    Anilingus

  • Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?

    Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.

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  • Puzzle

  • A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."

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