Ares jokes
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.
What are an orphan's least favorite shows?
"Full House" and "Fuller House."
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
Why can't LGBTQ+ members be straight? Because they are LGBTQ, they are losers.
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?