Are jokes

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they're fucking assholes.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”

The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”

The third blonde says “so we go at night.”

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.

Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.

Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.

Dark humor and women are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.

One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."

The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."