Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.
The more they smile, the less they see.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: "he ain't appearing" me: "sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won't appear for me" *the kid laughs"
moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
I wasn't staring at you; I was trying to figure out if that's your forehead or the moon.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
