Apology jokes

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.

Except at a funeral.

I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!

I'm sorry m8.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?

"It is ok, I forgive you."

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."

Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

To say sorry to the other side.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.