Anus jokes

So here's Uranus, where's my anus?

What planet is related to planet butts? Uranus.

You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.

Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...

What's NASA's grossest mission?

Probing Uranus.

When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.

My name has "anus" in it.

You know what they call pineapples in Paris?

I don't know, what?

Anus.

Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

I sucked your mom's anus.