Why lil kid cut himself :(????
Answer: because he was emo HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello please divert to 5°East to avoid collision. Thank you." The commander starts answering: "No you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!" "Sorry sir You are the one who should divert to 5°East! Over! "Listen to me you asshole! We are the USS Washington and we have an entire fleet at our disposal and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!" After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again: "In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Teahcer: At the end of this ruler is a idiot.
Student: which end?
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔 Answer: a buck an ear. 🤣
so a kid is taking a test and the paper says "in a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, and a pink bed, and a pink tv, and a pink cat, what colour are the stairs?"
so the kid answers pink like the idiot he is
Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
"Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency? Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
Why can’t orphan go on the field trip. Answer they don’t have a parent signature
Question-Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed? Answer- because he cant sleep in his race car bed...
Why do orphans not have parents
Answer: there parents are yeet dead dead
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well... ARRRR rated! Huh huh huh...
my impression of Michael Jackson's Butler: when answering the phone: - No, sorry he's dead. hangs up phone
A student asked a teacher how do you pronounce this word it's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D. The teacher was about to answer but then the student said, "actually I know how to pronounce it, I lied," (allied)
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
I've got not much of anything to be honest Been in special classes in school Not liked by people Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me 31 years old and never had sex pathetic Not very smart Don't look good Hate myself more than anything Been a failure at everything in life Probably be alone forever People treat me like crap Can't do anything right And the list goes on and on
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet the answer is ,I forget I'm a extreme procrastinator keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway
What is happening, Which is better being loved or being hated? State your answer.
what's the difference between yes and no... nothing
ahem.. if somebody you dont like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this
Hello thank you for choosing mamas pizzeria/ abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce how may i help you?
or
hello this is davids orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you?
some people reactions are priceless and then the wonder about you mental health
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class so the teacher told him do you know what happens when you don't pay attention. Little Johnny said no what. She answered, the principals office. Then little Jhonny said hey teach do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin? The teacher answered, no what. You have a D!ck in your mouth.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rino?
Answer: Elephino
