ANS jokes
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
Being an orphan is crazy and fuck gay people.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?