ANS jokes
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.