ANS jokes

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"

What is the difference between an American and a computer?

An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.

Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.

I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?

Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.

Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?

'Cause they need parent registration!

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.

An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.

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