ANS jokes
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
What is an orphan's favorite video game?
"Who's Your Daddy?"
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Michael Jackson is like if a Barbie doll and Bruno Mars had an ugly child together!
I'm jk btw Michael Jackson was amazing!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.