ANS jokes
I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?
Because they’ve got guardians!
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.