ANS jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
What's an orphan's favorite football game?? The homecoming.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
What is black and white and red all over?
An interracial abortion.