ANS jokes
What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?
"Nice cut, G."
Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t hit the home button.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because the home button does not work.
Why do orphans have an iPhone 10?
Because it doesn't have a joke button.
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?
Norwegian massage.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.