ANS jokes
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
Being an orphan always has an upside; for instance, a bag of chips is family-sized.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:
Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."
Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"
Comedian: "I'm not tr-"
Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"
Comedian: "I-"
Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
What’s an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!