ANS jokes
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:
Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."
Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"
Comedian: "I'm not tr-"
Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"
Comedian: "I-"
Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
What’s an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?
"Nice cut, G."
Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t hit the home button.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.