ANS jokes
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
What's it called if an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?
I don't care if she has either.
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.