Animal Husbandry jokes
Farmer: Phew! I got all the eggs from the chickens!
Farmer #2: EGGcellent!
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
What is the worst part of milking a cow? The smell of the dairy air.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? De-calf-inated.
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.