And jokes

Lover

What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?

Rap lovers get more pussy.

Advice

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

Line

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

Comedy

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Memes

Land Mine

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

Orphan

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

Woman

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Death

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

Mama

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.

Rose

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

Teacher

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

Pizza

What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?

They both have red circles on their bodies.

Elephant

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.

Archaeologist

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

Brother

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

Clown

The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.