And jokes

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomer age?

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.

You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples are picked.

Stand in the corner.

What do emo kids and apples have in common?

They both hang off trees.

I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.

What's the difference between an American and a computer?

Americans don't have trouble shooting!

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.

Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."