And jokes

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

What’s green and smells of bacon?

KERMIT'S FINGERS ✌️

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?

They can't be way too loud.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.

Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.

Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.

What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?

They both go "Ping" when they are done.

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

Mommy sits on my potty and sings a song about poop.

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.