And jokes

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"

What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Which one's super super corny?

1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.

2. What's blue and super hard to see?

Dark blue. (🤔)

What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?

If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.

And (DYM 106).

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Who robs and breaks into people's houses?

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)

What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?

Coronavirus and toilet paper.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?

Jm: Excujjimi?

Jk: No offense, Jim.

Jm: Yah, call me hyung!

Jk: But I'm bigger.

Jm: I'm older!

Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.

Jm:......

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.