And jokes

Friend

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

Memes

Orphan

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see their parents.

Hairline

Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."

Ball

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

Snail

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

Sound

What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?

They both need to make sounds to be recognized.

Friend

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

Compliment

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Orphan

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

Cotton gets picked.

Orphanage

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Twin

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.

Mouth

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.