And jokes
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
Memes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
What do a banana and shampoo have in common?
Ur mom.
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"
Me and my friend have a friend that's in a wheelchair, but he is so annoying, so we throw him in a fire. Now we call him "Hot Wheels."
Biden and Trump.
That's it. That's the joke.