And jokes

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

What is Osama bin Laden's favorite game?

Hide and seek.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

Your eyebrows turned into little butterflies and flew away!

Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.

If your hairline was a river, it would meander left, right, and backwards.

Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.