And jokes

I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.

What do girl emos and boy emos have in common?

1. They both want to die.

2. They both cut to die faster.

3. They both listen to emo songs.

4. They like "I wanna die" song/"Miss wanna die."

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

QoS.

QoS who?

QoS there me me who me and you.

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?

I don’t turn on a light switch.

What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.

Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.

What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.

What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?

The double trouble.

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.

And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.