And jokes
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
I prank called someone and I said, "Is there a Missis Wall there?" They said no. Is there a Mr. Wall there? They said no. Are there any Walls there? They said no. Then what's holding up your building?
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Memes
Friend: What fly's and cry's?
You: A cloud.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
What's green and sticky?
... A stick.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.