And jokes

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?

One is wanted and one's not.

Copy and paste in your search bar to see watersharky's worst picture on HIS OWN DOCS.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

What is brown and sticky?

The leftovers of the iceberg.

Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?

A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

What’s blue and comes in brownies?

Cub Scouts.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?

Thing 2: I don't know, what?

Thing 1: One gets hard faster.

What’s better than Ted Danson?

Ted singing and Danson!

What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?

On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!