And jokes

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.

You know what? I know five fat people, and you're four of them!

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

Can never tell a funny 9/11 joke. They always collapse and burn.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs.

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

How do you cause an African parade?

You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!

My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.

McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.

What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.

What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.