And jokes

Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?

One is wanted and one's not.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

sad sad sad

now you laugh and like

thank you!

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.

What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?

The apples actually get picked.

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?

Home base.

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt finished the races.

Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?

Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.

What are some red flags?

Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.

The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.

The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"

Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."

I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.