And jokes

What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?

His hide-and-seek skills.

"2001 just called and they want their towers back."

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and all over their land.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

You know what? I know five fat people, and you're four of them!

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"

What’s the length difference between your hairline and Saturn? Nothing.

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

What is white and fluffy? A peelo.

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can’t see their parents.

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.