And jokes

People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?

You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.

Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Your mom is fat and so are you.

You will never see a redneck opposing a war.

He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"

One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?

A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.

They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.

There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.

What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

Oh... one comes back.

Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.

You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀

What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?

My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.

A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.

He orders a beer.