And jokes

LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?

Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.

Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?

Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.

Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?

They take in 100's of kids.

Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?

He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.

Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?

What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.

What do orphans and deaf people have in common?

They can't hear their parents.

Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"

Teacher replied, "I don't know."

Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!