And jokes

A girl walks into the church and confesses.

Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Priest: "How have you sinned, may I ask?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call a man a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "He held my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (He holds the girl's hand.)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That does not explain why you called a man a bitch."

Girl: "He started taking off my clothes."

Priest: "Like this?" (He takes off the girl's clothes.)

Girl: "Yes, Father."

Priest: "That also doesn't explain why you called the man a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off his clothes and put his you know what into my you know what."

Priest: "Like this?" (He puts his you know what into her you know what.)

Girl: "Yes, Father! Yes, Father!"

Priest: "Then what?"

Girl: "Then he got up and left me naked."

Priest: "That son of a bitch!"

What's the difference between a baby and a ball?

If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.

One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.

What do Black people and chains have in common? Both work better with chains on them?

A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...

I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.

Hello everyone, have a great day and be positive!

On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:

12 tap ins

11 pointless dribbles

10 fixed league titles

9 missed penalties

8-2

6 dives

500 million robbed from Barca

4 UCL semi losses

3 times he blamed Higuain

2 retirements

And a transfer to a farmers league.

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.

Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

What is the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

I'm bored and I'm sure someone scrolling through here is too, so wanna chat? Pls.

Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!

Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)

6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.

A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.

"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...

You and your mom.