And jokes
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
Like, and comment if you're single.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Memes
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
What is long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Twin Towers are like my parents: 2 left and 1 came back.
What do the N and F in "orphan" stand for?
"No family."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.
Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.
Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.