And jokes

Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?

A. Hide and seek.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?

Because their dad never came back with milk.

What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?

The boomerang comes back.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.

"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."

The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?

There's no Jack!

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

What's got 9 arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

Two antennas met on a roof and got married.

The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

Why do emos cut themselves?

To play noughts and crosses.

I went to the store, and yeah...

Corn and corn, where is popcorn?

Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

What is blue and wiggling on my floor?

A baby in a bag.