And jokes

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?

A frog in a blender.

Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"