And jokes
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
I'm bored. If you want to friend me in Roblox, my username is Talitha95g and my nickname is talithafromamirica.
Memes
The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.
You caught a Penaldo!
Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.
Type: Ghost type.
Moves: Dive
Disappear in big games
Cry for pens
Statpad vs farmers
Sells underwear
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.