And jokes
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
Memes
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
What’s fat, brown, and has no dad?
Ama
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣