And jokes
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
Memes
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?
Yo mama can be found on Google maps.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Worst joke ever: me and my user.
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.