And jokes

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?

Nothing, they are both just memories.

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?

None of them get picked.

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples actually get picked.

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.