And jokes

Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?

Because they don't have father's and mother's days.

I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.

Because obviously she doesn’t listen.

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?

Not sure, I just fly the drone.

What’s the difference between Batman and the Black Panther?

Batman returns.

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?

"Are you ready kids?"

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”

A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”

Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?

A. The little girl in my trunk.

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?