And jokes

What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.

What’s the difference between Mexicans and stoners?

Stoners have papers.

Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?

From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”

Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?

That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Which days are the strongest?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?

Because they don't have father's and mother's days.

What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?

Not sure, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.