And jokes

My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.

Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names.

A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?

None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

What is the difference between Twitter and this website?

There's no difference.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.