And jokes
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
Memes
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.
Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
I sat down and wrote a joke.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.